Gin + Juice

• Rarely is it a good thing when I meet up with people at a bar only to immediately start ranting about how I want to punch someone in the dick because I dislike the way that they are holding their poolstick.

• Sex and the City, the Movie: I was not expecting a scene in which one of the main character-girls shits her pants.

• People that come in to volunteer at my workplace really shouldn’t look like a Nicholson-era Joker, all slanty-smile and weird-eyed. Especially if they are a female pushing 60.
  

• Dear Tamale Guy, you saved my life last night. At first, I was too drunk and/or full of drunken rage to bike home, but then you showed up on the sidewalk where I was standing with my only compatriot in hate (my hatepatriot? and yes, hate is a country), who then purchased a baggie full of your wonderful queso tamales. You see, Tamale Guy, I hadn’t eaten nearly enough yesterday to warrant drinking as much as I did- which totaled about 3 drinks, since I am a lightweight- but then you burst around the corner with your little plastic cooler full of delicious and that is probably what soaked up all the stupidity in my stomach and saved me from feeling the full effects of the whopping amount of alcohol I had consumed over the past two hours (again- 3 drinks). My night could’ve ended way worse than simply biking the wrong way down a major road for awhile and then falling over into a parked car, Tamale Guy- way worse. I like to think that you would never let such a thing happen. This is why, Tamale Guy, you are the unsung hero of these mean Chicago streets.
  

• At least the ones in Wicker Park, anyway.

Oh Damn

I think that going to the airport would be a lot more fun if ticket scalpers were allowed:

“Chicago to LA, $80! Two for only $150!”

My roommate has two cats and a dog. They all have fleas. Actually: we are the ones who have fleas since the animals have since been bought collars, but we have been bought nothing- despite all my pleas for a house where I can sit on the couch without having to worry about being bitten by tiny little black flecks of hate. He also left for Arkansas this morning, leaving me and the fleas to negotiate this new living situation between ourselves. I cannot kill my roommate and I cannot kill his animals, but goddammit I can at least try to kill these other intruders.

The Disappearance of Hobbies

Comedy Sadness

So I went to see a co-worker’s stand-up event tonight (Free every Monday at the Golden Globe Pub, Damen & Irving Park!) and was both disinterested and enthralled by the various acts.

One guy, in particular, struck a nefarious chord. You see, this guy pretty much based half of his act on the fact that he is a big ol’ sadsack who enjoys Star Trek and leveling up on World of Warcraft. When the latter phrase left his lips, I felt the eyes of at least two people in my group immediately turn to me, all thinking the same thing as I- this unwanted glimpse into the future has, this night, shown me what is going to someday happen to Dan. If you clicked on that hyperlink, guess which guy in the banner I’m talking about.

In other news, Chicago is getting it’s first Sonic… in Aurora. Man, these city fools just don’t know about chili-cheese fries and burgers that can only have mayonnaise or mustard (but never both), but they’re already getting crazy for the joint to open up tomorrow. I’m mostly just looking forward to conning someone with a car into giving me a ride up there so’s I can get a Route 44 root beer with some of that slushie ice.